Thursday, 30 August, 2007

Vista Blue Screen! Or how to make errors look good

8/30/2007  Stéphane Hamel  2 comments

Everybody knows the infamous Windows Blue Screen error or the simple but obvious call to action "Abort, Retry, Ignore". They both have plagued our computing lives for nearly 30 years.

One would think that with advances in software development, in the age of Web 2.0, such critical systems as Windows Vista would become legacy for those gray haired computer geeks like me. Well, I guess not!

How subtle of Microsoft engineers to remind us of a piece of legacy. In the snapshot taken this morning, there is some comfort in the sample but very efficient error message: "Problem Event Name: BlueScreen"! Almost like comfort food for the mind.



At least, now we can "Check for solution", which, of course, doesn't solve our issue but makes us feel more empowered and satisfy our inner instincts of being in control.

(Note: I tried "check for solution" without success, than canceled and Vista continued smoothly).

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2 comments:

ah Vista... been poisoning my professional life for 4 months now. BIG piece of advice: get a computer with a minimum of 2 Gigs of RAM. No joke. Upgrading from 1 G greatly improved the said professional life (even though I was told at the time of purchase that 1 G RAM was enough).

It's just too good an opening to pass on. Based on one of my fave poems. This is seriously old. I recall reading it back on USEnet in '90.
Cheers!
-----
Abort, Retry, Ignore?

Once upon a midnight dreary, fingers cramped and vision bleary,
System manuals piled high and wasted paper on the floor,
Longing for the warmth of bed sheets, still I sat there doing spreadsheets.
Having reached the bottom line I took a floppy from the drawer,
I then invoked the SAVE command and waited for the disk to store,
Only this and nothing more.

Deep into the monitor peering, long I sat there wond'ring, fearing,
Doubting, while the disk kept churning, turning yet to churn some more.
But the silence was unbroken, and the stillness gave no token.
"Save!" I said, "You cursed mother! Save my data from before!"
One thing did the phosphors answer, only this and nothing more,
Just, "Abort, Retry, Ignore?"

Was this some occult illusion, some maniacal intrusion?
These were choices undesired, ones I'd never faced before.
Carefully I weighed the choices as the disk made impish noises.
The cursor flashed, insistent, waiting, baiting me to type some more.
Clearly I must press a key, choosing one and nothing more,
From "Abort, Retry, Ignore?"

With fingers pale and trembling, slowly toward the keyboard bending,
Longing for a happy ending, hoping all would be restored,
Praying for some guarantee, timidly, I pressed a key.
But on the screen there still persisted words appearing as before.
Ghastly grim they blinked and taunted, haunted, as my patience wore,
Saying "Abort, Retry, Ignore?"

I tried to catch the chips off guard, and pressed again, but twice as hard.
I pleaded with the cursed machine: I begged and cried and then I swore.
Now in mighty desperation, trying random combinations,
Still there came the incantation, just as senseless as before.
Cursor blinking, angrily winking, blinking nonsense as before.
Reading, "Abort, Retry, Ignore?"

There I sat, distraught, exhausted, by my own machine accosted.
Getting up I turned away and paced across the office floor.
And then I saw a dreadful sight: a lightning bolt cut through the night.
A gasp of horror overtook me, shook me to my very core.
The lightning zapped my previous data, lost and gone forevermore.
Not even, "Abort, Retry, Ignore?"

To this day I do not know the place to which lost data go.
What demonic nether world us wrought where lost data will be stored,
Beyond the reach of mortal souls, beyond the ether, into black holes?
But sure as there's C, Pascal, Lotus, Ashton-Tate and more,
You will one day be left to wander, lost on some Plutonian shore,
Pleading, "Abort, Retry, Ignore?"

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